Julien's Juice 522 ~ Merkaba

alright time to roll out of here, get back home and eat something for lunch then go hang out at the pool.

Good day at work: almost, really up to date!

It is warm here but been some terrible storms and flooding in some areas this week. The end of days!

off to Buxton tomorrow for four days - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Hall_Hotel

it was built for Mary Queen of Scots to stay in whilst she took the waters; therefore fit for another spoiled queen, namely me!!

I don't trust this guy Michele is fucking!

The peel was very light and aromatherapic. No redness or irritation, just soft and smooth skin. But the true find of the day was this wonderful coconut body butter from Green Cosmetics. It feels like it was actual butter mized with that white coconut stuff that just breaks in your hands. I just.. totally love it. When you put it on, you are just delicious! Too bad there aren't no guys around to touch it!

Anyways, I got this gift card for the eco shop and found plenty of cool eco-frienly/organic stuff to try out. I have already tested this non toxic cleaning product for bathroom surfaces which I love and now I bought something that should work on all surfaces. Also I bought nuts which I like to salt myself, conditioner (has raw chocolate in it) and tea. I am in eco heaven.



Today I am going to Helsinki to meet my author buddies again. It means drinking and eating and drinking of course. LOL. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon.

Quiet day today, just went shopping this morning, visited Rick's dad and that's about it!

Had my dad over for lunch today. I made roast chicken and a bunch of salads. Tried to make it a nice time. At some pt he said to me "you're packing on the pounds". Not really true but he has always had a positive NEUROSIS about women who arent bone thin. So anyway I said " oh I know I have to be more consistent with exercising"

Dad: Well why arent you *this was basically growled

Me: Oh Ive been a bit depressed I guess.

Dad: Well you dont have much to be happy about"

Thank you sooooo much,Dad for your sensitive and constructive input! He has always been a mean bastard and Ive tried to love him but right now I feel like if I never see him again it will be too sion.

Pathetic I know to be still wounded to the quick by something your father says to you but there it is

Oh honey, please. It is hurtful! Parents...sometimes you gotta laugh. They say things that belong in a sit-com.
The other day my dad came over and he started talking about him and my mom emigrating(why these two are still together...ugh) in two years.

Dad: Yeah, so when we're there; you could take over the house! Ofcourse, we'd be coming over every 6 months or, so. But, it would mean a bigger house for you and we get to have an adress in Holland

Me: Why would I want to go back. it would still be your house. plus i'd have to accomodate you every six months. it'd be like moving back in with my parents. I did that before and I was 28. I'd be 34 and living with my parents.lol

Dad: Well, it's not like you're gonna have kids or a real family, like your sister. I can't ask her! it's just that we want to hold on to the house.

This is the man who started calling me 'faggot(dutch equivalent) when i was very little,who was verbally and physically abusive- lets' say that my childhood wasn't a very happy one because of him and in true "fucked-up-family-fashion" we never, discussed this. I'm slowly coming to terms with the past and realise that, like most of us; he was just a flawed person and I was at the receiving end of his frustrations and fears. He can't help himself. he's a frustrated, sad man who took it out on his family.

They're not gonna change and sometimes; they'll get to us. even when we told ourselves we've outgrown the "hurt". They're parents and we're still their children. Acts of cruelty and kindness will stil have an impact from those who gave us life,while we're alive and breathing. sweet dreams!

Looking for something to watch and I saw Queen Of the Damned comes on if 15.

craptastic!

I'm checking out my new HBO channels. so far: I think it's shit. There's barely any new movies on and the series...dunno yet. Wonder if that series "Veep" is any good?

Thank you Rodney Sometimes just a few words of understanding make all the difference in the world.

I just hope I dont do anything of a similar character to my kids! Well I know for sure I would never say anything like what your dad did to you (!!!!)..poor sweetie,btw. It hurts just to think of it. I also know I wont be a super critical, overly demanding parent like my dad who is "disappointed" in me because I married an asshole and didnt complete my PhD. But Im sure I probably will fuck up in some way though I am trying soooo hard to avoid it!

I hear you Sheila. Parents can say some shitty.....shit? lol Since Im off work for the summer my mom keeps pushing me to have a baby. WTF? NO!
She says since I have all this time off every year I can plan it and she can take care of it when Im working.

Talked to Rick about it and he is like.."whatever you want. But...not really right now" I was like

Times are too tough. I dont liked to be forced to do anything.

On another note. My lovah took me and my fave cousins and one of my sisters up North for the day. We fished, had lunch and chilled all day. Cutest boy evah! We swam in the river and fished and such. Nice day. He planned it all out all by himself. Nice day trip.

Dont worry I made him happy when we got home.

Julesy-sounds like you had fun! Do you sometimes feel like: MOM! how BADLY do YOU want a grandchild from me? Chill, i'm young!

Quote :

But Im sure I probably will fuck up in some way though I am trying soooo hard to avoid it!

Ofcourse you'll fuck em up in some fashion. even if you are the Mother to end all mothers; you won't ever be perfect. THANK GOD. that would really fuck up your children. I find that THE most important thing for a child is things i kinda felt deprived of: Affection, a safe environment to express yourself in and aknowledgement their of character, feelings, ideas, dreams, aspirations....Basically treating them as a worthy person:P

Instilling an unshakeable knowledge;the knowledge that, whatever the world throws at them, how many times you might dropped them on their heads, how many times you've grounded them, or said the wrong thing, if they been privy to things they should'nt have been privy to, how many times you'll disagree with choices they'll make:have them know that they are good enough in their parents eyes.

You can't take that shit away from a person; no matter how inept or perfect their parents might have been.
Instilling that knowledge in your children gives you carte blanche to make mistakes:P

I don't know if I would be a good parent. all I know is that, I'm fucked up enough to know that I would'nt want to bring them up myself,out of choice. Just because i'm great with kids; doesn't automatically mean I'm a suitable parent *ponders* hmmmmm....

When and if you and hubby are ready for it, Julesy, not before!

I am back from Helsinki, had a good time. But maybe at least 3 or more months before another writer meeting. They are exhausting

jules, for a start get a tshirt made with a baby carraige crossed out, ghostbusters style. if that doesn't work i'll come up with something else lol

LOL Great idea, Alondria! you can sell them from your quirky internet cafe.restaurant/bar in "click here to see more" :P

going down memory lane with some ol' schoolmates. i don't think i have ever said this but, i was part of a "glee-like' group. We'd do songs for xmas and easter at school and speeches and songs at the end of every schoolyear and stuff(and yes, we were horribly teased for it).lol. It was such a great time. We would practice our oscar acceptance speeches and playing around with the microphone during rehearsals, doing vocal acrobatics. I damaged my voice a couple of years ago buuuuuut guess what? one of my former Glee-mates is moving to new york-she snagged herself a fine chocolate american brotha to marry. he's in music and is now about to live out her dream. isn't that great!? Who would've guessed that one of us would actually make that leap? i feel good, today...and slightly tipsy.

Rodney in Glee!! That's cool!

Jesse, all of the sudden I can no longer watch videos on either of my computers. What do you think caused this?

Dan possibly the main video viewer on your comp crashed and needs to be reinstalled, your computer should alert you when you try to watch a video, what does it do?

big storms came through with hail, my friends haven't had power since 12:30 this afternoon and still don't and so I didn't get to watch True Blood and I missed it last week cause my ass got drunk at the gay pride parade so now I'm two weeks behind!

Dan - I know there are problems with firefox and flash that do this. I needed to install an older version of flash. Or you can just download and use a quicker browser like Chrome.



Ack Monday. Noooo! Going to do a 1-2 hours shorter day today. Did not sleep much last night, pretty normal for a Sun-Mon night.

Did you have fun in Helsinki?

I saw the storm stuff Jesse on the news. Tons of people without power. Oy vey.

So what do you all think of Katie Holmes and Cruise divorce?

Oh and Ricks niece ran away since thursday night. His sister barely told him yesterday. WTF? anyway I guess she was chatting with some guy on like,Meet.com or some stupid shit like that. She is 16.
We got a call at 5:30 this morning letting us know she got home ok. Her parents didnt sleep all weekend. I cant imagine whats going on in that house today.

When he told me, I kept thinking she was in a crazy mans basement being tortured or something. Fuckers are crazy. Rick told me not to say anything to anyone but I told my mom of course. She did the whole rosary thing last night...maybe that helped? lol

Denovissimus wrote:

Dan possibly the main video viewer on your comp crashed and needs to be reinstalled, your computer should alert you when you try to watch a video, what does it do?

\\

Just a blank where the video should be. Not only that but I can not get my online bank statement to load either or upload pictures to photobucket. methinks someone has done something *coughJamescough* If it were just one of my computers but bot at work and home.

I'd still say its the flash, Dan.

Julesy - I had fun, thanks. But its also very draining, I have been relaxing today.

i vote for the clebrity and gossip-thread to be moved to 1239 First street. I have no reason why:P

Just when i thought the casual "hints" he dropped during the kathy show was going to be it; he needs to talk about it in a Peoples' magazine interview. i understand, though. he is a public figure in the US,after all

i guess that means something for me too; I won't have to lie about me and Andy being an item!