Julien's Juice 521 ~ click on "see more"

I guess I will go read

I guess I will go write!

Had a dreadful time with Scarlett tonight. She is usually such a little angel and Will is the troublemaker but lately the tables have turned and Will and I are getting on so well and Scarlett is acting like a brat. She is five now which was a problem age for Will too....

Anyway, at one point during her tantrum she said "I want to go live with Daddy!" and I said "that's fine. Go ahead". So of course she shut her gob. Yes I know how ridiculous it is to be angry at a poor little five year old girl but she cut me to the quick and no doubt there will be many more years of her using this as a weapon against me especially if I let her know it wounds me.

I felt so upset afterward that I was paralyzed with grief and anger at Mark. I lay on the bed with Salem and cried. Sometimes I can get into these black moods where I feel like my stupid choice to marry a low-life worm like Mark and bear his children has destroyed my life which is again, ridiculous but there it is. Fortunately these moods pass quickly (yay for rapid cycle depression! lol) but really, I had soooo many other options and I chose MARK???? WTF was I thinking???

That's because we usually don't choose our spouses rationally. It just happens. Funnily enough I sometimes wonder if this is where we went wrong but then again there are still people who manage to care about each other till the end.



Have a hairdresser appointment for today. I bought a card that gives me a multicoloring and haircut for just 40 euros. Nice.

I feel sometimes it was destiny...for better or worse. I am not sure I had a choice in the matter.Evil spirits decreed that it should be so and so it was!

My brother is taking me to see Snow White and the Huntsman and then for Thai food tomorrow to cheer me up.He is a good bloke,my brother.I reckon he is my best friend really.

What colour are you going to do your hair Anne?

I don't know. I have no ideas at all.. might just give the hairdresser free hands.

But tomorrow is payday and summer extra. Get about 1450 euros more than usual

Doctor called, there has been small improvements in the white blood cell counts. I am to stop taking meds for Colitis for another 1.5 months. I did argue with her about this because the levels have been low for 2 years and now lower than ever (regardless of the amount of pills I am eating) so she promised to consult a hematologist. He/she can then say if further testing is necessary.

So; if your levels have been low regardless of the ammount of pills; why she taking you off the Colitis meds? You're gonna have to start taking them again, anyway.Is she hoping that, the count goes up, only to go down again, when you start taking them? How is that going to improve your white-cell count?

all day to my self while craig gets dragged around and beaten up by a bunch of kids lol. theos gone on a school trip and i wanted to stay at home

Sheila O wrote:

I feel sometimes it was destiny...for better or worse. I am not sure I had a choice in the matter.Evil spirits decreed that it should be so and so it was!

maybe it was destiny to be with the wrong guy because it was your destiny to have the kids that you have. And you wouldnt have had scarlett and will with anyone else. With another man, you would have had different kids, if any at all. Think of it that way.

The rest of your marriage was a mistake, but your children were not! They were the prize you got out of it!

today is pathetically drab day at the spa. I only have 1 appt and that is not until 4. My coworker Kris doesnt have anything till 5. Well at least we get to sit around and gab together. I do like thursdays because I like sitting around and talking with her more than anyone else there. I love all the women I work with there, I am lucky I work with a lot of cool and very interesting women.

But I am also waitressing tonight so at least I will make some money there. I heard last night was very busy so hopefully tonight is as well

Show them a little leg.for tips

yea that would be real classy in a fine dining restaurant.

You have to do it discreetly, ofcourse!

I am getting stressed with doing my ehtics form for my doctorate, and when I get stressed my health anxiety manifests; I've found several lumps on my body in the last five minutes alone!

Nicky are you still seeing your therapist? how is that going?

I finished about a month ago and I have been doing really well, I've only been to the doctors once since the 19th Apr, almost two months which is amazing for me. I notice that when I get stressed the health anxiety seems to come back

Funny you mention that Michele. I was just wondering that myself this morning.

Anyone know what happened to the two pictures I posted yesterday in this thread?

well that is good to hear!

ok so you are stressed, now what can you do to relieve your stress? do you do deep breathing exercises? do you meditate?

Auntie Maine wrote:

Funny you mention that Michele. I was just wondering that myself this morning.

Anyone know what happened to the two pictures I posted yesterday in this thread?

what were the pictures of? I dont recall seeing any

Marvelous, Michele.

I've found several lumps on my body in the last five minutes alone!

Those are your love-handles; you need to loose weight.

Ah. Nicky. It's good that you can tell WHY and WHEN your OCD starts acting up. The anxiety is still there but, your mind already knows what sets it off. Read your posts from a couple of months ago; huge difference. It's only a matter of time untill you really get a grip on your anxiety.

what do you want to do, profession-wise Nicky? what with all those degrees....or is it more of a keen interest?

LadyMandingo wrote:

well that is good to hear!

ok so you are stressed, now what can you do to relieve your stress? do you do deep breathing exercises? do you meditate?

normally if I worry about health I have to go through a series of thought in my head that the therapist taught me, like instead of imagining the worst, try and think of all the other things it could be, like say a natural bump, does it hurt, do I feel ill, etc, and usually after that I feel a bit better