X-Men's gay wedding causes waves!

The less you make an issue out of it, the better.

Ofcourse, the dutch seem to be more accepting. But, that really wasn't the major factor. There's still a bias towards gay people. There's still bashings and discrimination. But gays got their rights by basically saying; "Look, we're just like you guys. It ain't gonna kill ya and we ain't going anywhere. And the general response was: Who really cares, anyway. They're people,too-whatever you might think about them.

W have saying in Holland:"Doe maar gewoon, dan doe je al gek genoeg"

It literally means:"You, acting normal, is crazy enough"

The meaning behind it is:"Just live your life as you see fit(within your norms);we're all a bit crazy"

that's why the dutch have such a seemingly, tolerant view on things.

Praise the Dutch, you know the average Americans suffer perpetual ADD

So today this gay employee comes to me with a printout of a powerpoint that is being spread throughout federal agencies regarding tolerance and understanding of homosexuality, I found the powerpoint to be a bit over the top, but it was bold. He showed it to the chief judge for consideration of spreading it amongst our staff and I told him I actually didn't want it spread to the staff, I didn't feel like it was necessary and it would bring up conversations I really don't think have a place in the workplace.

Let alone a comic-book

well the comic is light stuff, fit for a general audience, this was rather adult oriented, not graphic, but it highlighted myths versus facts of gays, the different types, just some stuff I found I didn't want to overhear discussed at work

I'm not out at work, the only place I'm not out at, I've always wanted to be viewed as a person, not a gay person, I'm sure people know and suspect, especially when I dealing with Miguel's sickness, I always said "my roommate" but people just knew, no one questioned it and I rather like it this way

Really? Do you paint yourself white to not look black or hispanic as well?
Wow. I don't "tell" people I'm gay and people don't ask me if I am. They find out for themselves. it might come up in conversation' when you're talking about aspects about your life(you went to a movie with your partner or or whatever. Nobody really cares. i certainly don't go out of my way to hide it and they don't go out of their way to find out. that would make it an issue.If I would say: I wanna be treated like a person -not as a gay person they'd respond with: stop being so difficult about it, then. If i were your colleague; i would think

"Oh that;s the gay who is ashamed of being gay. Just call it his "roommate".I'm sorry but


I dunno; i live in a different world, i guess.

I just don't want people prying into my private life is all, I don't pry into theirs, but I was clear with both of my bosses when Miguel passed that he was my partner, the administrative assistants upon my return immediately told me to use family medical leave...that's reserved for immediate family members and spouses. It's known. But I would hate to be treated with gay sterotypes in the office. It wouldn't bother me, but the gay guy at work and the boss joke about gay stuff all the time and its just not what I want for my professional life.

And it has nothing to do with being ashamed, its my preference to keep a tight control over my professional perception and its worked well enough for me.

Like I said; I live in a different world.

LOL, no like I said its all me wanting to maintain control over reputation I've built at work, its very multifaceted. The hard stern serious worker who doesn't like to smile versus the smart ass versus the indifferent asshole versus the friendly wicked but dry sense of humor...its fascinating actually, the ability to control one's own perception. Every single person at work has a slightly different take on me and I love it that way

I also must add that its a very loose control, office life is quite interesting and I love to play and manipulate to a small degree with perceptions in that environment.

So Rodney, its been a long social experiment for me, and not fear or shame over my sexuality.

And like I said:
We live in different worlds. by that i mean; the way we view things.

I don't experience what you experience. my reasons for not conceiling the fact that I'm gay are borne from a very different outlook on things.

I know what you mean about having control over peoples' perception. We all do that as soon as we start interacting and working in groups. my sexuality is as significant to me as my hair colour, height, ethnicity,etc and it is "dealt with" as such.I don't hide them nor, are they of any significance when it comes to work; they're there for all to see. and I don't experience perceptions "changing" to "the gay guy" when people know I'm not straight. That's because of the way a carry myself.

At work;I'm the guy with the friendly smile-even when I'm chewing your head off. Sometimes, I'm the cool and distant guy. the only constant factors:The 31,170cm,gay,dark hair,etc.
I don't do gay-jokes and I'm not "the gay-encyclopedia" . I think it's a bit lame. Like we're some kind of novelty to either 'hide" or go "overboard" But, i'm not in a closet, either.

If I were to refer to my bf as "my roommate" Peoples' perception of me would be: "The smiling guy who turns cool and distant you know: 31,170,dark hair oh! and.... gay but, he doesn't like to talk about it! At least; he's in the closet. probably conflicted, why would you hide such a thing. prolly not out to his family either, kinda sad...poor homo..."

Call it stupid or, shortminded. .Some people can't help but perceive things in a certain way. We all perceive and we all judge. And no matter how hard we try: we have no "complete" control over peoples' perceptions.
Colleagues know through inter-communicative "osmosis" not to make silly gay-jokes because I'm just not that kind of guy. And my "reputation" hasn't changed at all. at least; nobody started acting differently.

That's my world. different than yours :P

I can understand both views. I mean most of us just want to find a role in the "pack". Regular Joe or mr. Joker. Its much easier. And lets face it, most of them aren't your friends, most are just buddies or colleagues.

However people talk, they want to know, they spread rumours. For example I want to come out as a funny and relaxed person but I am seen as distand and proud. It always suprises me when people say "I thought you were kind of a sulky and proud but when we started talking, you are just one funny quicky person". But an odd joke, then and there, open people to me. I see their walls crack and then mine start falling too. They are no longer necessary.

So you can, yes, to some agree control peoples views but there are some things that people just sense. They are not always true but you kind of just... well, have a sort of shining. We are group animals after all and we always box people. Its not just us finding a place, its us all wanting to find a place to everyone else.

Exactly anne! The only thing you truly control is how you carry yourself.People will make up their own minds. and I'd rather have that being done to me on the basis of truth.

Jesse- I "get it" I just don't agree with it for the reasons mentioned in my previous post :P
I just find it telling that the reason for you not being out is because of your boss and gay-colleague. You don't want that for your professional life. Me neither. I have 3 gay colleagues. We're all out-all treated differently. People know that "gay-jokes" don't fly with me, my boss is a very stern guy who doesn't do "jokes" and the other guy is really, really bland:P It's the way we carry ourselves as individuals and what we talk about that defines us. There's this other guy who is really jovial and flamboyant. He gets treated as such and he doesn't mind. So even without witholding the truth and referring to partners as roommates; I'm treated the way you seem to want to be treated. I still have the same control over peoples' perception of me. And even if it is for your personal social experiment and enjoyment; IMO it stops being an experiment when it becomes habit, born out of a wish to not be stereotyped. Kinda like being in the closet in highschool. It's no longer a major personal issue but, apparently big enough to display the same behaviour. To me; it's a bad habit. on any level for, any reason.

That's my perception, at least.

Denovissimus wrote:

As for this X-men stuff, unfortunately this is America we are talking about, so yes it is needed as a reminder to lame brains that its okay to accept different ways. I don't like that we have to but we are still in a cultural battle over here and it makes its way into our politics. Whatever and whereever messages of acceptance can be spread will make it better in the long run.

'land of the free'

And the dumb...a fucking comic. i'm not an american but, i find it insulting.

it's not a 'fucking' comic! I love comics!!

Okay,okay...I got carried away.It's a comic; not a fucking-comic

yah, damn right!

from an artical i read marvel have said that because marvel is based more in the real world (new york not metropolis or gotham) that they felt doing this was the next step to take.

To me it trivializes the greater cause. I appreciate the intention. But,I just find it ridiculous.

yes Rodney darling, you live in a different world

I'm stubbornly headbutting this thread, Michele-style!

Why on earth would anyone at the office where Jesse works think he is gay.

Well. they all know he's gay. He's just not "out"...as you can see in that picture

That shit is sacrilege Dan!